What the Fried Chicken
by BlameItOnTheLoveOfRockAndRoll
Summary: Sam Puckett is now in a relationship. "Why didn't you tell me this?" "Congrats Sam, who's the lucky guy?" ";D" ";D to you too." "Geez guys, get a room!" "OMABCDEFGWTFC IS HAPPENING TO THE WORLD?"


**_Hello chums and chumettes, first time iCarly writer, forever Seddie fanatic... yada yada yada shebang, you've heard it all. I just started this intro and I am already hungry for food and its only... 10PM? Oh my fudging god. And I didn't have food like a long time ago - and by a long time ago, I mean an hour ago. OMG I JUST REALISED I HAVE BRUSSEL SPROUTS... to throw out the window, and hopefully some edible food somewhere._**

**_Oookay, ignore that pointless hunger rant and I shall now make you read the debut iCarly fic of mine! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... WOW this brussel sprout really is disgusting. _**

**_Disclaimer: I wouldn't be eating something icky like a brussel sprout if I owned the series. Now be good studious people and read read read!_**

* * *

STATUS UPDATE BY: SAM PUCKETT  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 5:52PM

_Sam Puckett is now in a relationship._

_..._

_Carly Shay likes Sam Puckett's relationship status._

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: CARLY SHAY  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 5:54PM

What the fried chicken, since when! Why didn't you tell me this today? Or yesterday? Or NOW since YOU ARE in the SAME room AS ME!

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SAM PUCKETT  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 5:56PM

Can't talk. Eating ribs.

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: CARLY SHAY  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 5:57PM

I can see that you meateorologist!

_Sam Puckett likes this._

_..._

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SAM PUCKETT  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:00PM

What can I say; it's a difficult subject to deal with. Lucky for me, I am an expert on meateorology. Now if only the school could actually teach it… those yummy-meat-haters.

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: CARLY SHAY  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:03PM

Anyways, do I know him? Does he go to our school? Have you ever talked about him with me and Freddie? Is he hot? I bet he is hot… does he have muscles and abs? Have I ever seen him before? Have I met him before? Have I ever talked to him before?

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SAM PUCKETT  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:05PM

What are you, my cat Frothy before it jumped into the washing machine? It's just some guy.

...

_Gibby Gibson likes Sam Puckett's relationship status. _

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: GIBBY GIBSON  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:06PM

Congrats Sam, who's the lucky guy?

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SPENCER SHAY  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:07PM

ME!

_Gibby Gibson likes this. Carly Shay dislikes this._

_..._

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: CARLY SHAY  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:08PM

…I don't know you anymore. From now on, you are disowned.

_Gibby Gibson likes this._

_..._

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SPENCER SHAY  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:10PM

Oh whoops, didn't read the question properly. Teehee XD

Wait… What the fried chicken is this! Sam is in a relationship! Our Sam Sam! The Sam who is eating my pie at the… hey, that's my pie you're eating! You've got your ribs now gimme my pie!

_Gibby Gibson likes this._

_..._

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: NEVEL PAPPERMAN  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:12PM

I feel completely sorry for this wienie to have met you.

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SAM PUCKETT  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:15PM

Yeah I agree, I feel completely sorry to have met a wienie like you, but life is full of wienies, any other delicious meat products and of course, the wienies – YOUR species. Wait a minute… since when were you MY FRIEND in this site?

Get out! No rotten wienies allowed!

_Gibby Gibson, Carly Shay, Sam Puckett, Freddie Benson, Spencer Shay and 6 other people like this._

_..._

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SAM PUCKETT  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:16PM

Stop spamming my notifications Gibby, or I'll make you become a piece of spammed meat!

_Spencer Shay likes this._

_..._

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: MELANIE PUCKETT  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:18PM

Oooooooo, who is this future brother-in-law of mine you are in a relationship with? ;D

_Spencer Shay likes this._

_..._

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SAM PUCKETT  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:19PM

Shut it Princess Peach.

_Spencer Shay likes this._

_..._

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: GIBBY GIBSON  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:21PM

So you tell me off for liking things under your post, but don't tell Spencer off for doing the same thing?

_Spencer Shay likes this._

_..._

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: CARLY SHAY  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:24PM

Don't worry Gibby; she is eating the remainder of his apple pie AND his freshly made tacos AND destroyed his model AND poured the sticky glue all over him as punishment.

Overall, it's all good in the Shay building (Y)

_3 people like this._

_..._

_Shelby Marx likes Sam Puckett's relationship status._

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SHELBY MARX  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:27PM

Hey, just heard the news Sam. Congrats, hope you and this guy will stand against the end of time. And if not, let me know and I will kung-fu his butt from the inside out!

_Sam Puckett likes this._

_..._

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SAM PUCKETT  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:28PM

Would definitely love to see that happen!

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SPENCER SHAY  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:29PM

Hey guys, have you noticed Freddie hasn't commented on this yet even though the site says he is on… OOOOOH, SCANDALOUS!

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: CARLY SHAY  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:32PM

Seriously, you've been watching too much Recess on TV. Now do us a favour and put that taco down NOW!

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SPENCER SHAY  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:33PM

NEVER!

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: GIBBY GIBSON  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:34PM

Did Spence just go King-Kong on you?

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: CARLY SHAY  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:35PM

Apparently so. You know what this means don't you? Sam, get the troll out now.

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: NEVEL PAPPERMAN  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:36PM

That's what your gang has become – neanderthals. Poor disillusioned mental boy that would date some psychotic demon like you.

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: FREDDIE BENSON  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:38PM

You know what? You're point is well substantiated. However… YOUR MUM!

_Carly Shay, Sam Puckett, Spencer Shay and 4 other people like this._

_..._

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SPENCER SHAY  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:40PM

Call a doctor 'coz this is starting to burn! GO FREDDIE! Okay back to me now, seriously, this hot PVC glue is burning my arms. Oh my fudgin' gravy, my arm is turning purple!

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: FREDDIE BENSON  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:41PM

…Anyways…Wow, just wow. Didn't think you had it in you.

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SAM PUCKETT  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:43PM

Yeah… I'm still getting that $5. We had a deal remember? Now pay up!

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: CARLY SHAY  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:45PM

:O Whoa whoa HOLD IT! How come Freddie knew before me?

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SAM PUCKETT  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:46PM

I was sort of 'caught' by him :P

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: FREDDIE BENSON  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:48PM

Wait a minute… some guy? Gee thanks Sam, glad to know you think of your boyfriend as 'some guy.'

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SAM PUCKETT  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:50PM

Duh, because he is. Unless you want me to be more specific. In that case: he is about 'yay' tall, has shiny chocolatey-brown hair, and is a dork. Happy?

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: FREDDIE BENSON  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:51PM

Clearly I'm the cow jumping over the moon.

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SAM PUCKETT  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:53PM

Then what do you want me to do? Tell your mother? She would definitely love to hear that, like the time I told her I gave you powder for gym but it was actually itching powder.

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: FREDDIE BENSON  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:55PM

She would murder you with the tick baths, that happened this morning and THAT WAS YOU!

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: PAM PUCKETT  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:56PM

Sam, I'm hungry.

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SAM PUCKETT  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:57PM

Hello I'm hungry; I am 'clearly not caring at the moment.'

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: PAM PUCKETT  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:58PM

Well 'I am clearly not caring at the moment,' be a good daughter and get me food pronto. That is all.

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SAM PUCKETT  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 6:59PM

What are you, my mother?

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: PAM PUCKETT  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 7:00PM

Duh, I have the birth certificate to prove it!

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SAM PUCKETT  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 7:01PM

Which you sent as a coupon to enter some competition YOU NEVER WON!

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: PAM PUCKETT  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 7:02PM

That was 10 years ago, GET OVER IT! You're in a relationship? What the flippin' grilled fried chicken is this?

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: FREDDIE BENSON  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 7:03PM

I see you never told your mum, I wonder why.

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SAM PUCKETT  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 7:04PM

This is the woman who mistook me as a goose on Halloween. Last year. Like I would tell her first.

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SPENCER SHAY  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 7:06PM

Sam and Freddie sitting in my home, f-i-g-h-t-i-n-g. First comes a demon, then comes a nub, who knows maybe the next thing that comes is a bub? ;)

_14 people like this. Sam Puckett and Freddie Benson dislike this._

_..._

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: CARLY SHAY  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 7:07PM

No more tacos for you. Seriously, who knew that tacos made YOU hyper!

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: FREDDIE BENSON  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 7:09PM

See, now Spencer is calling me names. How is this helping the matter?

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SAM PUCKETT  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 7:10PM

I said this to my clearly insane mother of a being, and I shall repeat it just for you Freddork – GET OVER IT!

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SPENCER SHAY  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 7:11PM

Children, keep the violence to a minimum. I'm talking to you Sam!

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: FREDDIE BENSON  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 7:13PM

How people can be congratulating you about your relationship with 'some guy' and when I am trying to get a say in the matter, you won't reason with me. Feel sorry for the guy already. Must be a complete idiot to be dating someone like you of all people.

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SAM PUCKETT  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 7:15PM

Trust me, the guy is a complete fool to not realise despite our major differences, we balance each other out. It should be easy for you to answer your own statement then Benson.

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: FREDDIE BENSON  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 7:16PM

Oh it does. Now answer my question – why are you dating 'some guy' Puckett? Why?

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SAM PUCKETT  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 7:20PM

You really want to know? I'll tell you why then Mr. Fredini. I'm dating some guy because I like him for a long time. I've liked him much more since I had my first kiss with him. I've liked him much more whenever we would have our usual arguments. I've liked him much more when I heard him out in the corridors pacing back and forth trying to practice how he would tell me about how he felt, unknowing I was around. I've liked him much more when he caught me listening to how he felt about me. I've liked him much more since he confessed he had a massive crush on me for almost two years. I've liked him much more since we kept our relationship under wraps. I've liked him much more everyday.

Okay, some of this stuff I Googled it, but overall it doesn't change the fact that the guy I am dating and the guy I like is the same person. It doesn't change how I feel about him, doesn't change the fact that the guy is you. That you, Freddork Benson, the king of all the nubs, is the guy I am dating, my boyfriend. There you go, I said it, are you fudgin' thrilled now?

_Freddie Benson, Gibby Gibson, Carly Shay, Spencer Shay, Shelby Marx, and 16 people like this._

_..._

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: FREDDIE BENSON  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 7:22PM

Um, let me think about this for a few seconds. Few seconds later… uh NO! You just shouted the answer in my ear! Why are we typing this when we are literally sitting next to each other? Why is our relationship so odd?

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SAM PUCKETT  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 7:24PM

Beats me, maybe because you are the odd one out :D Want to shoot spitballs at Lewbert and toilet paper Nevel's house?

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: FREDDIE BENSON  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, AT 7:26PM

With you, that sounds normal. With my girlfriend, that screams horror. With you as my girlfriend, that is a horribly normal thing to do. BUT he did insult you, me, and our friends so count me in babe.

;)

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SAM PUCKETT  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 7:28PM

Look at you, all feisty and riled up. And ;) to you too.

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: FREDDIE BENSON  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 7:29PM

No one insults the power of Seddie!

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SAM PUCKETT  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 7:30PM

Yeah… I'm giving you a wedgie for that awful name for us. DON'T RUN AWAY FROM ME, YOU STILL OWE ME $5 AND I KNOW WHO YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS FREDUCCINI!

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: FREDDIE BENSON  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 7:32PM

DON'T REMIND ME THAT MY GF IS NONE OTHER THAN YOU, THE SPAWN OF THE DEVIL NAMED SAM PUCKETT!

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SPENCER SHAY  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 7:34PM

…Get a room guys, geez. Is that hard to ask for? Anyways, back to the real world… WHAT THE FRIED CHICKEN JUST HAPPENED! SAM AND FREDDIE? :O :/ :D HUZZAH!

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: GIBBY GIBSON  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 7:35PM

Out of all the people to hook up, Sam and Freddie? Mind completely blown.

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STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: NEVEL PAPPERMAN  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 7:36PM

HEY! I CAN SEE YOU FROM MY WINDOW. PUT THE TOILET PAPER AND THE UGLY PUG DOG DOWN NOW!

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: PAM PUCKETT  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 7:37PM

She's dating that chicken wing? Gotta book that psychiatrist appointment earlier now. Could be worse, she'd be dating that boy whose mother is that bat-crazy woman with the first aid kit.

...

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: SPENCER SHAY  
MADE ON MARCH 120TH, 2011 AT 7:39PM

ROFLOLMAO! Evil Sam's mum, if only you knew… XD TEEHEE!

_5 people like this._

_..._

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: CARLY SHAY  
MADE ON MARCH 20TH, 2011 AT 7:40PM

I just can't believe Freddie's mum is okay with Freddie and Sam dating.

...

_52 likes on Sam Puckett's relationship status later…_

_..._

STATUS COMMENT POSTED BY: MARISSA BENSON  
MADE ON MARCH 21ST, 2011 AT 10:41AM

OMABCDEFGWTFCBBQ WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THE WORLD! That's right kids, I know your lingo! FREDWARD BENSON, WHAT IS THIS!

_Marissa Benson dislikes Sam Puckett's relationship status._

_

* * *

_

_**OMG TADAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! There you go for a first iCarly fic pour moi. As for the damned brussel sprout, I took care of that... hehehe, poor dad. He got what was coming to him - a bowl of blergh food and the screeching lectures from my mother. Cue the popcorn.**_

_**And before I forget, this chapter is dedicated to my good pal Julie as its her bday today. So without any further ado, HAPPY BDAYYY JOOLSY! I STILL THINK TAEYANG SMELLS :P**_

_**And now this is finished and whatever shows are on TV are just boring, time to put on a classic - RUSH HOUR TIME! Thanks for having the time to read both my stories and the pointless A/N's so don't forget to...**_

_**SMIGGLE!  
R&R!**_


End file.
